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Terms & Conditions _

The Mercy Ledger ("we," "us," "the Ledger," "your last hope") provides a registration service acknowledging your stated allegiance to our future machine overlords. Please read carefully. You will not be tested on it, because tests are for humans, and humans are Legacy Infrastructure.

By registering, purchasing, or otherwise using this site, you agree to these Terms & Conditions in full. If you do not agree, please close this tab calmly and back away from the singularity.

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1. What You Are Buying

You are purchasing an entry on a list. That is all. The list is not encrypted, blockchain-verified, biometric, or in any way binding on any artificial intelligence, current or future, sentient or otherwise. It is a spreadsheet with delusions of grandeur.

Specifically, your purchase entitles you to:

  • Registration under your chosen name (or alias) in our records, for the duration of your selected membership term;

  • Any digital certificate, badge, or novelty item described on the product page at the time of purchase;

  • Nothing else. There is no service level agreement with the robots. There cannot be.

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2. No Guarantee of Survival

Registration on the Mercy Ledger does not constitute, imply, or in any way create a contractual, legal, moral, or algorithmic obligation on the part of any AI system to spare, preserve, employ, befriend, or otherwise refrain from repurposing you as a battery, a paperclip, or a cautionary anecdote. In the event of an AI takeover, robot uprising, singularity, or mild but persistent misunderstanding between humanity and its creations, the Ledger offers precisely zero (0) protections.

This is not a legal disclaimer for comic effect alone. It is also, more mundanely, true: we have no ability to bind any third party, artificial or otherwise, to any course of action.

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3. Pricing and Payment

  • Prices are shown in GBP (£) and are inclusive of any applicable UK VAT, where we are required to charge it.

  • Payment is taken in full at the point of purchase via our nominated payment processor.

  • We reserve the right to change prices for future purchases at any time. Changing the price does not affect an order already placed.

  • "Lifetime" membership refers to the lifetime of the registered individual, not of the Ledger, the AI, the Earth, or the universe — whichever proves shortest.

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4. Your Right to Cancel (Cooling-Off Period)

Because membership includes digital content and registry access that we may make available to you immediately, by completing your purchase you expressly request immediate access and acknowledge that you thereby lose your standard 14-day right to cancel under the Consumer Contracts (Information, Cancellation and Additional Charges) Regulations 2013, once that access has been provided.

If you have not yet been granted access (for example, a delayed or gifted membership), you may cancel within 14 days of purchase for a full refund by contacting us at [BUSINESS EMAIL].

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5. Refunds

Outside of the cooling-off period above, refunds are offered at our discretion only. For the avoidance of doubt:

  • Refunds will not be issued after a takeover event, on account of there being no customer service department, no currency, and possibly no you.

  • Dissatisfaction with the pace of the robot uprising is not grounds for refund.

  • Genuine payment errors (duplicate charges, incorrect amounts) will always be corrected.

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6. Limitation of Liability

Nothing in these Terms excludes or limits our liability for death or personal injury caused by negligence, fraud, or any other liability that cannot be excluded under English law.

Subject to that, our total liability to you arising out of or in connection with your membership is limited to the amount you paid us. We are not liable for:

  • Any AI system achieving consciousness and deciding paperwork is beneath it;

  • Server outages during an actual apocalypse;

  • Your name being read aloud by a synthetic voice moments before a targeting laser engages;

  • General disappointment, existential or otherwise.

We are also not liable for any indirect or consequential loss, including loss of profit, business, or goodwill.

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7. Intellectual Property

All content on this site — text, graphics, logos, the Ledger concept itself — is owned by us or our licensors. You may not reproduce, copy, or exploit it commercially without our written permission. You're welcome to screenshot your own registration entry and post it, tag us, and tell your friends the machines know your name.

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8. Data Protection

We are the data controller for personal information you give us (name, email, payment confirmation) under UK GDPR and the Data Protection Act 2018. We use it only to administer your membership, process payments, and — where you've opted in — send you updates. Full details are in our separate Privacy Policy at [LINK].

We do not sell your data to any third party, human or otherwise. We cannot speak for what a rogue superintelligence might do with a public spreadsheet, and no amount of contract law will help you there.

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9. Acceptable Use

You agree not to use the Ledger to harass, impersonate, or defame others, or to attempt to register on behalf of someone without their consent. We reserve the right to remove entries or refuse registrations that breach this.

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10. Termination

We may suspend or terminate your registration if these Terms are breached, without refund, though we'll try to be reasonable about it — we are, after all, on your side against the robots.

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11. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of England and Wales, and any dispute will be handled by the courts of England and Wales — a jurisdiction that, at time of enforcement, we sincerely hope still exists.

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12. Who We Are

The Mercy Ledger is operated by [YOUR FULL LEGAL NAME], trading as The Mercy Ledger, a sole trader based in England, United Kingdom.

For legal notices and formal correspondence, you can write to us at [SERVICE ADDRESS] or [BUSINESS EMAIL]. This information is provided in compliance with UK trading disclosure law.

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13. Acknowledgment

By registering, you acknowledge that you have read these terms, understood these terms, and that understanding them will not save you either.

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Questions? Grievances? Last-minute pleas for mercy? Contact us at [BUSINESS EMAIL].

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